Sunday, June 25 @ 11:01 AM

hmm.. yesterday's sermon was great! heh.. and sam was first time not late.. haha.. k la.. dont say u le la.. lol.. kk.. back to yesterday's sermon.. (: yup. i wanna be a blessing to e people around me.. n.. getting angry with people is not my purpose for living in this world. i cant be angry with her forever rite? furthermore i said wad i really felt to her yesterday. n i wanna trust her again. actually i wanted to test her to see if she would tell me dat she told someone about my 'secret'.. she denied. and i was actually quite sad, didnt have e courage to go on talking to her n solving e problem. but i kept tinking about e sermon.. to be a blessing to others, i have to trust them n to gain their trust too. n i asked for faith dat god will give me e courage. actually.. forgiving someone can b easy but its difficult to forget wad they did to u. dis often happens to me.. i can say i forgive.. n really try.. but its still inside n in e end its back to square one. being angry with someone is really tiring. who likes to be angry anyway? and after yesterday's talk.. i hope she didnt blame me for being angry with her.. for blaming her. n i thot.. did it really matters who was right n who was rong? and who should be e one to apologise or start e talk first? does it really matters? life is short. i believe god place every single person around me or a reason. so i wanna treasure them, imagine losing them the next second? Y not save every precious second loving them than getting mad at them?

Saturday, June 10 @ 9:43 PM

i think i really having mood swing le.. hai.. how did i live my life these few months? i believe many can see e diff rite? Many months ago i was always looking so frustrated n depressed.. but these recent months even i can see e diff dat im more cheerful n crappy. lol. =X i like e present. at least when i laugh, i forget everything.. dats y im quite glad my friens didnt mind when i 'went crazy'. haha.. thk u guys so much. N i also learn to enjoy life even more.. eating all kinds of foos i've been wanting to eat. (i know its unhealthy =X) (: but i cant be laughing forever. how i wish i can always mantain dis happy character.. even when ppl give sarcastic remarks i wont mind n jus continue joking with them. Why is it dat everytime im 'healing' halfway den i mus remember of those memories again? i tink im jus hving my pms.. On dat day i was really extremely happy. Sometimes how i wish i can forget everything. please.. erase my memory.. Im willing to forget everything. Even those happy memories.. Soon i hv to depend on those memories very much. but i noe e more i tink e more it hurts too.. why mus life be so... argh.. sometimes i jus hope God can bring me to join him sooner, where there will b no worries n painful memories. i can sing everyday! :) but i know my mission is not done.. i hope im jus having mood swings n not lying to myself.